[Trigger warning: discussion of abusive relationships]

Over the weekend, Liz and I attended Supanova Pop Culture Expo (post on that coming) (also why there’s no comic this week, my sincerest apologies). On the Saturday, I went in costume as 80′s prom date Joker. It’s the second time I’ve done a Joker costume, and it’s always a lot of fun. It also speaks to one of my lady-parts’ greatest weaknesses: villains.

A brief list of some of my evil crushes: Loki, The Joker, Catwoman, pre-reform Zuko from Avatar: the Last Airbender (post-reform is fine, too), Poison Ivy, the Phantom of the Opera, Bane, Spike, Drusilla, Jareth, Alan Rickman in most things, bleedy-eye guy in Casino Royale.

So aside from my fetish for facial scarring, what is it about villains that I’m so into? And, most importantly, why is it that my lady-boner for bad doesn’t translate into the real world?

Most of the guys on that list have huge female fanbases. The heroes of their films do as well, but frequently fans of villains can seem to eclipse those of the heroes in passion and numbers. I imagine this is somewhat perplexing for casting agents and the like, but first, let’s analyse why heroes and villains are cast and characterised the way they are.

Male heroes in films occupy a certain role, and that role is male wish fulfillment (as do the women, but that’s a whole other article). He is muscular, traditionally handsome and intensely masculine, solving his problems through the twin strategies of punching and shooting (I am a huge fan of Bruce Willis, so don’t assume I’m knocking this as a method). The women love these heroes with their rippling, virile manliness. Villains are, generally speaking, the antithesis of this – they are what men are taught to push against, the opposite of what they should aspire to. Villains are smaller, thinner and generally physically weaker than the heroes of their films, and gain the upper hand not through physical combat but through their vast intellects and cunning use of traps. Heroes are usually blonde and tan, villains pale with long, raven locks – long(er) black hair and/ or some kind of facial scar is a sure-fire sign of villainous tendencies. Villains are not supposed to be sexually desirable to women on a physical level, though they are frequently extremely charismatic, and thus attract a single (usually crazy) female hanger-on, who they order about and are generally massive butts towards (this is often shown as a sign of their evil tendencies, despite male heroes treating their female admirers in remarkably similar fashions – but again, I am digressing into an entirely different argument). Villains are delicate male Snow Whites, consistently geniuses, sly and effeminate, while the heroes are great, hulking Fabio’s, frequently battle-smart but school-dumb, brave and hyper-masculine. There are some very obvious exceptions to this rule, but these are the models on which most heroes/ villains are based. It’s the jock/ nerd dynamic, only with death rays.

The main reason I can see for the appeal of these villains over their heroic counterparts is that the heroes are, quite frequently, boring.  Even if they do manage to spend reasonable portions of their films shirtless, a glorious set of abs is generally not enough to base a relationship around. Liz will likely take me to task for this but Thor is, in essence, a loghead. He’s pretty, certainly, but ‘roguish charm’ and ‘bravery’ tend to translate into ‘frightfully dull’ when I imagine what Thor would be like in a long-term relationship. Your typical hero is certainly eye-candy, but they’re generally written with about as much depth as a Petri dish. That’s why, for the discerning person of intellect, the jock-y hero seems a pretty bland option.

The villain represents an extremely enticing long-term possibility: stimulating conversation. Aside from being able to talk about something other than truth, justice and the American Way (I assume that is a diner), they are also frequently much more complex characters than the heroes, with many layers of moral ambiguity. Characters like (movie) Loki and Two-Face struggle with their good sides. Catwoman frequently oscillates between good and evil (my usual answer to when people ask me of her villain status is that it depends on whether or not she’s boning Batman at the time). Their actions are not inherent in their characters, but fluid and dependent on intervening circumstances. In this way they are much more human. Villains also, importantly, have that sexy, sexy ‘danger’ thing going for them. Plus, they typically wear more leather, which is always good.

Heroes do good stuff because they’re good; their motivations are always very simple and approvable. Sometimes they struggle with what is right and what is wrong, but they always make the right choice in the end. Villains always believe they’re doing the right thing, even when they’re committing acts of terrible evil. Often, they’re trying to ‘save’ the world, or reform it. Heroes can be rebels, working outside the system for the right cause, but villains try to crush the system completely. They are intellectual anarchists trying to fix the world, not afraid to tarnish themselves for the Greater Good. Heroes seek to preserve the established order, one which we in the real world know is flawed. In the fangirl mind, just about every villain is secretly an anti-hero in disguise.

So why is this complexity so important as to turn murderers into heartthrobs?

This next thought should always, always result in alarm bells for anyone: they’re bad, but I could be the one to fix them.

I don’t like admitting it, but it’s important and I have to: the subconscious appeal of villains is the appeal of the abuser. It’s an easy trap to fall into, and a very hard one to get out of. The romanticised appeal of the ‘bad boy’ is an extremely dangerous one. We are taught that if we just show them a little love, or help them be more secure, they will be revealed as romantic and emotionally deep, the dude in the motorcycle jacket capable of far more sensitivity than the dunderhead on the football team. Unfortunately reality is much harsher. Reality has fists, and it will use them on you, not to protect you.

To demonstrate with pop music, please watch the following video:

Realistically, no person really wants to be with someone who goes around murdering people in cold blood a whole lot. We might want to be able to show them forgiveness, and for them to move on, to grow and change, like in Beauty and the Beast, but given the option it would be a rare person indeed who’d be willing to shack up with Pol Pot or Gaddafi. The fictional villain, on the other hand, allows for the wishes of a darker part of ourselves.

To look past the abuser dynamic that is the reality of falling for a ‘bad’ person, we with a hankering for evil must focus on the fictional nature of these characters. The distinct line between fiction and reality is extremely significant in the appeal of the villain. We know exactly the kind of person a villain is, so we cannot be deceived the way we can deceived by real people. We can pretend they wouldn’t kill us or maim us in an instant because we can imagine ourselves as the one thing they cherish, and it doesn’t have to be a lie. Kidding ourselves about the behaviours of a fictional character is safe, because they can’t actually hurt us if we get it wrong.

Even those who fundamentally ignore all the murder going on will agree on a central point: evil is sexy. We pinpoint the appeal of these characters in the fact that they are bad. This is really obvious in the case of classic femme fatales, whose source of evil is their sex appeal. Villains aren’t a Project on the same level as the problem person may frequently be in real-world abusive relationships. Rather than wanting to root out the evil in the villain we allow ourselves to give in to it, to fall through the rabbit-hole of temptation and into a world where we sit beside these characters, laughing maniacally along with them. By imagining ourselves as a villain’s squeeze we can give in entirely to our subconscious fantasies, the ones we can’t actually ask for but which we know our villains are smart, sympathetic and plain ol’ messed up enough to understand – and be into. In our minds, we can always make it stop while it’s still fun. It never has to be real, with all the consequences that would bring. It’s all very Freudian, really.

We can’t really help who we’re attracted to, and my ‘thing’ for evil has led to more stigma, ridicule and disgust than my thing for being into dudes and ladies at the same time. Still, as with everything in our lives, it’s important to know what it means, to analyse, question, and dissect. And, for all you out there wondering if your crush on Loki could get you in real-world trouble, it is so, so important to know where to draw the line.

[Image Credit]

Happy Easter folks!! But today, instead of sexy bunny rabbits or anything like that, we’re going to examine a different woodland creature. That is – the Bear.

I’m a bit of social dabbler. I don’t quite fit into one of the gay subcultures wholly and completely – I mean, I’m a total geek, but I’m also a bit of a party boy but I’m also a bit of a cub.

Cub? What’s that? – don’t worry, many of my friends have asked the same question. Many, even those within the little circle of homo-friendly joyousness, are not aware of the bear community – or they at least aren’t fully aware of all it entails.

So let me give you a quick crash course, so you can sound super knowledgeable the next time your gay friend starts talking about the affair he had with a musclebear the other day:

Bear

The bear is typically a friendly creature, often adorned with pretty plain attire, a fully grown beard and usually of quite a stocky frame. At the very least a thin layer of fur would cover the body – but they usually have quite distinct pelts.

Cub

Usually a smaller and younger version of the bear, typically as friendly and perhaps a touch more naïve and playful. Catch them quick because they’ll quickly grow into fully-fledged bears.

Chub

Curiously similar to the bear, but usually of a distinctly rounder shape. They can come in both smooth and furry varieties (furry ones may also be called “Grizzly Bears”), but the distinguishing feature is the obesity – a feature that is celebrated rather than admonished.

Golden Lion

A ferocious beast, swatting away the stereotypes associated with those of fair hair. These blonde growlers are certainly no bimbos but be careful – their shiny beards can be mesmerising.

Ginger Bear

Not to be confused with a tasty fizzy beverage, though for some, perhaps enjoyed the same way. This particular species of bear exhibit a distinctly different sort of pelt, ranging from a deep maroon to a more ochre shade of red.

Otter

While perhaps as furry and ferocious as their brethren, the Otter possesses a less domineering silhouette. The Otter stands tall and slim, but peel off the outer layer and you’ll find a beautiful pelt beneath.

Polar Bear

These are bears that have been around for awhile and have (usually) been filled with the wisdom of age. As wisdom comes in, so too does colour fade, leaving their pelt a faded grey or even white colour. This is not a deterrent, however, for many a young man who will snuggle up to their “daddy” and call themselves his “son”.

Silver Fox

A similar breed to the Polar Bear, but usually the evolution of an Otter – that is, they are of a much thinner variety.

Muscle Bear

Often terrifying to look at, but absolute teddybears inside. Perhaps one of the most descriptive names in the bunch, a Muscle Bear is a bear who is less rotund and more…muscled. If they’ve got a layer of fur and they look like they can bench-press you, then you’re probably looking at a Muscle Bear. Don’t be frightened though, they usually love to cuddle just as much as any other bear.

Leather Bear

The leather bear is one you should approach with just a touch more caution. While typically a sub-category of Muscle Bear, it is known that bears of any type can don leather straps, boots, and whatever other attire they like made from cured animal skin and become the Leather Bear. Be warned, you will often find they expect interactions to involve lots of “sirs” and many (not all) will partake in the BDSM world too. If that’s not your thing, better make it clear first. If it is your thing…well you might as well make that clear too, while you get on your knees and lick his boots.

Chaser

One of the most elusive creatures when viewed in the wider wilderness. When amongst the bears they are easy to spot – they show a distinct lack of fur, fat and muscle but are seen drooling over the surrounding bears.

Goldilocks

Can be found (usually) at the teddybears picnics rather than the late-night clubbing scene since they possess genitalia that are incompatible with a “male only night”. She despises the term “fag hag” – she is not such crude type of person. She is in the company of bears, good sir.

So hopefully you understand a little more about Bears now. Can you spot some in your social circle?

Got any other burning questions about the Bears? Shoot them at me in the comments and I’ll do my best to answer them!

[Image Credits: Bear Flag | Bear | Cub | Chub | Golden Lion | Ginger Bear | Otter | Polar Bear | Silver Fox | Muscle Bear | Leather Bear | Chaser | Goldilocks]

I recently found this on my Tumblr:

At first my reaction was the same. How could a company with such a huge following (especially from gay geeks – I mean muscley men in spandex? This girl ain’t clueless) hire a guy so blatant in his vocalisations against homosexuality? My gut reaction was for DC to fire him. But then I had another thought. Should your personal beliefs be questioned at the work place?

What you do in your own time should not influence your job. That is the party line for employees and their employers. I can go drinking the night before and have a one night stand but in the morning I will have to go to my hypothetical job and perform as normal. My hypothetical super-conservative boss cannot complain about how I live my life outside the hypothetical job. She certainly cannot fire me for having a different lifestyle to her and doing things she does not approve of. Unless of course, I have been seen doing illegal activities/in possession of something illegal, but she will still need proof!

This seems so clear when one puts it like that.

I think that the problem comes in two folds. One: is people who discriminate and the law and Two: is that a company’s employees are seen as representatives.

Gay men or women cannot be fired/not hired based on their sexuality and their beliefs. That is extremely clear. However, as long as Orson Scott Card does not discriminate against another coworker or use his position in the company to spread his personal beliefs he isn’t doing anything illegal. In America they are very protective of their freedom of speech laws and unfortunatley, as long as Mr. Card isn’t discriminating in the work place then to fire him would be unfair dismissal. This petition isn’t going to amount to much, because as much as I truly, truly hate to say it, he isn’t doing anything illegal and the law would be in his favour.

The real reason why this is such a huge issue is because DC is a huge company. Many fans believe they are held ‘accountable’ for their employees, as the tumblr post suggests. With something so well known as DC and Superman, it is important what image they send to the world. It is important for its readers and the company itself to stay alive, because they will lose readership and money. The message they are sending is that they are ‘okay’ with Orson Scott Card as a person, and even though they have said that his views are not those of the company, it does put you at unease.

In summary, what Card is doing is certainly wrong but he has done nothing illegal. Petitioning will not get you anywhere. His position in the company is placing DC in a very bad light but it is a lose-lose situation for them: fire him and they will have their asses handed to them in court or keep him and lose readership and money.

That is a very depressing note to end on, but remember that DC have their gay characters and there is nothing ‘token’ about them. Both Eddie and Willo can wax lyrical about Bat Woman (shown right as fan art) and Green Lantern has such a mass following it’d be hard to argue that it is the token gay comic book character. This suggests DC is receptive and progressive, don’t let one man get you down! Or just head on over to Marvel

{Image Source: The Doodlewall}